Procrastination

Procrastination

Contents

Introduction 2

Enhancers 3

Structure 3

Time 3

Rigid and critical self relationship 3

Reasons to procrastinate 3

To avoid failure 3

To avoid success 4

To avoid losing control 4

Tasks should be 4

To avoid the imperfect 4

To avoid losing your identity 4

To avoid feeling lonely \abandoned 4

To avoid doing demeaning tasks 4

To avoid making a decision 5

To avoid distress 5

To maintain your self worth 5

To increase excitement 5

The brain made me do it 5

What maintains procrastination 5

What gets in the way of tackling procrastination 6

Your identity 7

How procrastination can be helpful 8

Steps to Change 8

Preparing to change 8

Understanding 8

Motivating 8

Troubleshooting 8

Changing procrastination 8

Approach 8

Plan Preparation 9

Plan Implementation 9

Feedback\Learning 10

Rejuvenating\Rewarding activity 10

Helpers 10

Organising 10

Managing 11

THE FREEDOM FROM PROCRASTINATION CODE 11

 

Introduction

Procrastination is a difficulty of ambivalence. Its wanting to do something you don’t want to do for some reason.  If this ambivalence wasn’t there, then it would be a clear “No”   I don’t want to do that, and we wouldn’t have a problem. But the problem is you do want to do the thing, and for certain reasons you don’t want to as well, and the putting off the task, just makes it harder, even though you want to or maybe need to do it.

There are several main reasons why you don’t want to do it

1.       You could succeed

2.       You could fail

3.       You are being controlled by doing this task

4.       You will be known

5.       You will be separated

6.       Things should go well

Fear of success might mean you fear extra responsibility or losing friends through succeeding

Fear of failure means you might not want to try as if you fail it wasn’t because of your talent

Fear of control, means that doing the task means doing what someone else wants and that feels really unpleasant as you aren’t getting to do what you want.

Fear of intimacy means that If you choose to do something people get to know who you are ,and can engage with you, but this might be unpleasant for you, as you might fear not being liked .

Fear of separation means if you still have tasks to do then you are still connected with something\someone.

Fear of things going badly means that you have a belief that if things aren’t going well, it means something bad about you, youre incompetent, or something bad about the task, you’ve chosen wrongly.

So, there is something unaware about procrastinating,  it is an unconscious compromise. Its trying to leave possibility alive. I could have been successful; I can do what I want to do, I friends will still like me as I’m not successful. Although its compromise generally ends up causing some very concrete problems.

Procrastination is an avoidance strategy of pushing things into the long grass, forgetting things by putting them in the increasingly long list of things to be done, things in the bottom draw.

Procrastination can also be fuelled by desire and indecision, there are all these things to do, what shall I do, instead of choosing absolutely they are left as good ideas that are put off.

Enhancers

Things that can enhance procrastination are ADHD. With this then your attention is difficult to focus on less pleasant tasks so you procrastinate.  Likewise a lot of other exciting task ideas may come along which again may distract you.

There is also something cultural with social media and smart phones where there seems many distractions to focus on the unpleasant thing to be done. When you add that in to working from home where work gets mixed with home life then putting things off increases.

 

Structure

Time

There also seems something about the procrastinator’s relationship with time, so this could be the time of a child. There is objective time chronos, and subjectively felt time,. The procrastinator firstly has a divergence between these two senses of time. Secondlyre the bad thing they must do will go on for ever (subjective time), making it unpleasant. Also, if there is a least a minute left then there is all the time that is needed to complete the task (magic time).  Then there also seems a lack of time awareness, where engagement in things is not related to the overall things that need to be done, almost executive time.

An infant lives in the present, and time is the distance between a desire and its satisfaction. This distance can be felt as pain, and can feel like it will go on for ever.

An adolescent also has a sense of endless time and limitless possibiltiies.

Procrastination might be a sign that the the past is dragging you back, rather than the future pulling you forward

There is also a sense of self holding self-back. This could be because perfection is demanded of me, and I don’t want to admit I’m not perfect. It could be because low status is how I see myself so I don’t want to produce higher status as that would be unfamiliar.

Rigid and critical self relationship

Procrastinators can set unrealistic goals in terms of quantity and quality, and be self punishing if they don’t achieve them, so they become unwilling to start. Theres almost a vanity that is being maintained. The thought of being ordinary is intolerable.

 

 

Reasons to procrastinate

What we need to understand is what makes doing the task so unpleasant. We need to understand the tension between wanting to do it, and not wanting to do it, where the latter isn’t in awareness

To avoid failure

·         As you can maintain your belief in your specialness as you didn’t try

·         I must do things perfectly and that’s too hard

·         There is a right way, and not choosing it is a disaster

·         Sees things as competition and hate losing

·         Fearing that I might be a failure and fearing the repercussions from self and other if this is the case.

·         Fearing a mistake as on the basis of a fixed mindset, that you are born with ability that you just need to prove, then a mistake proves you are a failure.

If I don’t try\do, then I can maintain my belief that there is a perfect solution,  and that I could have done things outstandingly. If I got things wrong, or lost this would be awful and I would criticise myself.

To avoid success

Success might be unpleasant as:

·         increased responsibility\work and loss of control\freedom\playfulness.

·         increased attention, avoid disappointment

·         being disliked by people for being too competitive\successful

·         contradicts your beliefs about yourself, Im a failure etc.

To avoid losing control

·         Not doing a task you don’t want to do asserts your control\power in the world

·         It allows you to assert control, without having a direct conflict with a more powerful  being.

Tasks should be

·         Easy

·         Understandable

A task which will be procrastinated might me an impossible task in terms of quantity\quality and the process should be easy and the outcome should be outstanding. There is a vanity\pride in this were it should be outstanding. If this is not the case then the procrastinator can be self critical. This makes the task really unpleasant and so whilst I want to do it, it has become aversive.  Doing it and getting it wrong will make me less of a person (because I will criticise myself) so I will avoid doing it.

To avoid the imperfect

There can be a desire to do things perfectly and because that is hard therefore the task is put off. As effort indicates that this may not be perfect.

To avoid losing your identity

If you do something for someone else it can diminish your sense of yourself  and can lead to what it means to be you won’t be respected, so you avoid doing the task and feel more yourself.

To avoid feeling lonely \abandoned

·         You always have things to do, as procrastination means tasks take longer

·         Some tasks can develop your independence, but if you procrastinate then potentially other people can look after you

To avoid doing demeaning tasks

If you have a powerful belief in your specialness, and ability you might then want to procrastinate  tasks that don’t accord with that belief. This could be because the feelings of doing things that are less that you think you should be doing, or feeling a failure are very powerful for you maybe because you haven’t often felt them.

To avoid making a decision

·         It could be wrong (perfectionism)

·         I would lose all those other possibilities

·         Fear of getting it wrong (self criticism, other criticism)

To avoid distress

·         Pleasurable tasks feel timeless, and it feels very painful to do things that aren’t like this

·         Any of the above reasons produce distress that can then want to be avoided. So theres a sense of how tasks should be, and if they aren’t like that then they are avoided

To maintain your self worth

Self worth=ability=performance, so if I don’t try, this breaks this connections

Sometimes impossible standards are an attempt to overcome LSE

To increase excitement

A mundane task left until the last moment becomes more exciting

The brain made me do it

·         You procrastinated on a task, you pair the task with distress, then you procrastinate again, you deepen that pairing, after a while it becomes habituatl to procrastinate with that task.

·         If you can’t comfort yourself, then difficult tasks are really difficult

·         Weak executive function (sleep deprivation, ADHD), can allow you to become disorganised, and you procrastinate unconsciously as you forget deadline

·         The inability to inhibit yourself to do an unpleasant task, when there is something else available will again contribute to procrastination

 

What maintains procrastination

The task to be done produces distress (for some reason), a history of procrastination produces extra distress associating the task with the distress of procrastinating about it.  Now being stressed, and the threat part of your brain is activated it becomes harder to do the task. So, the procrastination is maintained by the negative reinforcement of avoiding the unpleasant feelings of distress , and by the strengthening of the beliefs about the task e.g. “I can’t do it” supported by the decrease in ability due to the stress. Given the avoidance of the distress then procrastination is also maintained as the skills of managing distress aren’t developed.

As a procrastinator might hop from task to task, as they are unpleasant, then they may not also get the pleasure of starting, working and completing a task, So then tasks are unpleasant and have less pay off to them.

In turn tasks can be associated with all the unpleasant thoughts\feelings and behaviours. So as the similar task\situation is faced then there can be all the memory of previous similar tasks coming back and a priming of a way of paying attention\thinking\feeling as there is an expectation of what the task will be like. The brain through repetition wires neural pathways, so when I see x, then I think y, then I feel z.

What can help reduce the maintenance of procrastination is to start to break the neural pathways. So, when you get stuck in procrastination take a break (mind\body) which can then give other experiences related to the task.  Likewise starting small and getting some success in terms of doing the task and concentrating can also rewire as it reassociates the task with non procrastinatory experience.

There can be a style of thinking that can maintain procrastination. Its around dichotomous thinking, where a task must be the correct one (or its wrong), must be easy\always enjoyable (or I’m doing it wrong), or it must be done outstandingly.

 

The secondary gain for procrastination, can be to maintain illusions. That I am brilliant, as if I never try this will never be tested. That there is a perfect solution, if I never choose, it can still be out there.  There is also something about not being known as if I don’t choose, and show myself I am still an illusion for you, as you don’t know me.

 

What gets in the way of tackling procrastination

If you stop procrastinating, what new problems or situations would you have to face that you don’t have to contend with now?

My illusions could be shattered . . .

What if I finally do my best, but I’m mediocre?

I might not be able to achieve what I always thought I could.

 I couldn’t feel superior if I found I was in the same boat as others.

 

There’s always more to do . . .

I’ll turn into a workaholic.

I’ll take on more and more responsibilities and put my own needs last.

 I’ll find there’s even more to do than I thought.

It will never end.

 

My relationships would change and not for the better . . .

 It’s lonely at the top; I’d lose my friends.

 People will compete with me and try to cut me down.

My flaws will be obvious, and no one will like me.

Everyone will be envious of me.

I’ll be too different from my family.

 

I’d lose control over my life . . .

I’d have to accept a lot of other people’s routines and expectations.

I’d have to learn new things and be a novice again.

I’d rather be the expert.

 I’ll be taken over by this new culture.

People will demand more and more of me—and I can’t say “No.”

 

Life would seem boring . . .

 I would miss the excitement and challenge of “cutting it close.”

I wouldn’t be inspired, and I’d be less creative.

Things done early will seem too easy.

That’s no fun!

 

I’d be completely responsible for myself . . .

 I couldn’t blame other people or circumstances for what I do or don’t do.

What would it be like to be completely on my own without getting everyone to help me at the last minute?

 I’d have to make a lot of difficult decisions about how to spend my time.

 

 I wouldn’t be a nice person anymore . . .

If I’m successful, I might turn into a pompous ass.

I’d become self-righteous and disdainful of those who still procrastinate.

I might be dull, less fun, no longer a unique person.

I’d start to feel competitive with everyone else.

 

Maybe I don’t deserve this . . .

I’d have to acknowledge that I’m worth something.

I haven’t punished myself enough for procrastinating.

I’d be even more disappointed in myself if I started to procrastinate again.

 

Your identity

There can be things you see as your identity that make it harder to let go of procrastination

1.       The loveable clown

2.       The saint: always looking after others but putting my needs off

3.       The renaissance man: knows about everything but never can attend to one thing

4.       The miracle worker: can pull it out of the bag in the last 5 mins (but I created the problem)

5.       The blank slate: I don’t know what I want in life, so can’t direct my energy

 

How procrastination can be helpful

·         It can show that you don’t want to do what you are doing and there could be good reasons for this that procrastination is pointing to you acting against your values.

 

 

 

Steps to Change

 

Preparing to change

 

Understanding

Establish procrastination areas:

Establish procrastination patterns and themes.

Establish procrastination style: what do you do

 

Motivating

Evaluate Procrastination

External costs: e.g. problems at work

Internal costs: e.g. LSE

 

Troubleshooting

As you set yourself tasks to help you change you will hit resistance and procrastination. When you do use this to understand more about procrastination.

 

Changing procrastination

Approach

Aim build confidence, by getting some success.

Break tasks into small achievable steps

Use an energising activity at start of tasks and a pleasurable\meaningful activity at end of tasks to energise and stimulate the work.

Aim to increase your understanding of yourself, your procrastination and achievement whatever happens

Plan Preparation

Write down why you procrastinate (Write 5 parts of it, e.g. fear of failure, fear of being controlled)

Write down the emotions that encourage you to procrastinate (I feel x when I need to do y)

Write down what keeps you procrastinating: Fears if you didn’t procrastinate (see above)

Write down 5 costs (internal and external) of procrastination

Write down 5 benefits of reducing procrastination

Write a plan for tackling procrastination (general energiser, specific procrastination reducer with rewards, general pleasure\meaning enhancer, this wrapped in a learning\feedback mechanism )

Learn emotional acceptance technique

Have a logbook\learning journal

 

Plan Implementation

Start of day: Run

Plan:

Break task into small time chunks

Think about how you can distract yourself and if you need to make some time for those things later in the day.

Establish rejuvenating\rewarding activity around it

Write or say what is important about doing this task (internal motives, external incentives)

Write or say how I can make this task more interesting\motivating (how quickly I can do it, what I can learn etc?)

Task implementation

Do task, if successful take a rejuvenating break/get a reward (Exercise? Movement? Music? Change of scene?)

If having difficulty with task then write or say the meaning of the difficulty (e.g. fear of failure), notice the emotion that goes with this. Do some emotional management or compassion exercises then return to task.

 

End of day: Pleasurable\Meaningful activity

 

 

Feedback\Learning

Have three sections

Understanding procrastination, thoughts and emotions

Helpers and hinderers

Troubleshooting

Either at end of day, end of task or during difficulty write down any increase of wisdom in any of the areas

 

 

 

Rejuvenating\Rewarding activity

Mindful: A sacred pause: connecting to the moment, what it feels like in your body, emotions, feelings, sensations what sounds you notice.

Exercise: Some exercise: walking outside, moving around the house, doing a yoga pose, doing an exercise

Relaxation: Progressive muscle relaxation, Soothing imagery, Soothing breathing

Compassion: Notice what’s gone well to encourage and support and offer compassion to any difficulties or struggles.

Social: Message a friend

 

 

Helpers

Organising

Set a timer for the task on your phone

Write a plan for the day at the start of the day

Create a regular time during the day to do certain things, e.g. look for houses, socialise etc

Break things into very small bits, use one minute time allocations

Wellbeing: ensure you are getting enough sleep\eating well\socialising\having pleasure and meaning

Create an “Unschedule” a weekly plan of all the things you are going to do, notice what you feel about that and then see what time you have for what you should do or if you need to adjust the schedule

 

Managing

What can you delegate?

What can you say no to?

What can be good enough rather than perfect?

What do you love doing: do more of it!

How can you schedule your day to maximum effect (hard tasks first, small task firsts get some motivation?

 

THE FREEDOM FROM PROCRASTINATION CODE

 It is not possible to be perfect . Making an effort is a good thing . It is not a sign of stupidity or weakness . Failure is not dangerous . Failure is an ordinary part of every life . The real failure is not living . Everyone has limitations , including me . If it’s worth doing , it’s worth making mistakes along the way . Challenge will help me grow . I’m entitled to succeed , and I can deal with other people’s reactions to my success . If I do well this time , I still have a choice about next time . Following someone else’s rules does not mean I have absolutely no power . If I show my real self , I can have real relationships with people who like the real me . There are many possible answers , and I need to find what I feel is right .